Of course family is contacting me at the last minute to buy Christmas presents. I did the rest of my shopping in pain yesterday while O was at daycare. Since then 2 of my siblings have contacted me to get something for them. I´m leaving for Iceland with my toddler at the end of the week. I´m also getting a house ready for Christmas and I´m SOOOOO pregnant. My poor husband is now being sent out to get these things even though he is not feeling so well. It would have been no problem to get these things if they would have contacted me a week ago. Then I would have had more than 2 days to do this shopping.
My house is not at it´s Christmas best this year. I´m winding down from my last day doing grad school work which was Friday. I´m still in a daze from that. Then just keeping up with the trail of destruction that my 20 month old leaves behind him and the day to day stuff of dishes and pots and pans and laundry and packing for our trip to Iceland and shopping all the things that I have been asked to buy for everyone in Iceland and DH and O are now getting over their cold that was pretty bad last week and this weekend. I wish I could enjoy this Christmas. The other day I was just sitting with O while he was waking up slowly from his nap and I realized that these are the last days that me and him will have just the 2 of us with out the craziness of being surrounded by family or having a new baby around. I wish we had more time, just me and him at home with out the stress of school or anything else before this baby is born. I´m not ready to leave but will have to no matter if I´m ready or not. This is sad to me. I love my family but living in the same house as my parents, my sister and her family and having to fit me my husband and my newborn into one room where there is constant traffic is making me very stressed. I know I will get a lot of help in Iceland from family after the baby is born but my personal time and space will be non and everybody that knows me knows that that makes for a very unhappy Olof. Last time I was in Iceland to have O I had the apartment in the garage to escape to. It wasn´t complete privacy because mom and dad had to come through the apartment to get to the garage and the laundry and all that. The walk throughs are frequent. But i had my own TV and couch and a place to nurse in peace and quite and a nice bed and just a place to escape. Non of that this time and I´m wondering how I am going to manage. I´m wondering if I am strong enough. I don´t want my second birth to be a horrible experience. The first was hard enough with having all of that. I don´t want my mom to think that I don´t appreciate everything that she is doing to accommodate us. I know this is very stressful on her and dad. I know they would do anything for us. Dad is even coming to New York to pick us up and help me with O on the way home. I couldn´t ask for better parents. I just wish that for once I could come home to have a baby and that be the only thing going on in my family. I have this dread about this trip and I don´t want to. God help me be a better person and just be thankful for what I have and not wish for so much more.
On another note. I started and have finished knitting the stroller jacket. Now I´m doing the embroidery and then I need to line it with fleece and put a zipper on it. I did heavily modify it. I knitted it in one peace instead of in peaces that need to be sewn together. I like it a lot. I might make my own pattern from it since it is so heavily modified. Anybody know how much modification you have to do to make a pattern your own?